Why Your Dad Insists On "Dancing"
Unless you're father is Fred Astaire, or Justin Timberlake, your dad is probably a bad dancer. Almost as a law of nature, dads flock to the dance floor with the animalistic intention of embarrassing their offspring. When I was a kid, I would have put my dad in prison, if I could, for doing whatever it was he did when music came on. Now, as a mature 24-and-a-half-year-old, I can appreciate my old man's sick-nasty-sweet moves. I don't even have to tell you what they are because all dads enter a night of dancing as so:
Wait, wait. This post is best read while playing this:
It starts with a song he thinks is bumpin, and starts bobbing his head in your direction, waiting for you to bob your head in agreement.
Even though you do NOT bob your head, and are pulling your shirt over your tomato-red cheeks, Dad's all, "Ain't no nevermind to me! I'll just dance by myself." And he "makes his way" to the designated dance area.
Once there, he puts a LOT of faith in his ability to move his arms and legs in tandem with one another.
Or maybe he's just got no patience to walk all the way there, and is givin you the good ol' point-and-shake.
God forbid his glory days in high school drama be re-awakened.
You know he's never. EVER. forgotten the choreography he learned all those years ago. He might even practice it while you're not home.
And if he doesn't remember he'll just wing it, and a lot of snapping will be wed with awkward hip-thrusts.
Oh, god, people are gathering around him. Where's the fire alarm, this has gone too far.
All the attention has inspired him to get everyone clapping for whatever reason. Is that even the right beat?
As hard as it is, you have to keep your eye on him, in case he gets a little too courageous and "into the moment."
Because if it gets to that point, you'll have to call in Mom for support.
She'll be no help.
Great, he found a prop.
Who let him out of the house, again?
Sigh. Well, you're certainly not going to beat him, so you'll have to just join him.
Or this. Yes, definitely this.
Here's to the dads that embarrassed us ad nauseum, but who eventually showed us how to embrace the weirdo within and dance like no one is watching, even though there are probably way too many people watching.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. Love you.