The Weight Is Over

"I pulled into Nazareth, I was feelin' about half past dead . . ."  That is one of the greatest first lines in song history, and has always been a favorite of mine.  Maybe now it's a favorite of Pat's too, since the name of the song is "The Weight," and Pat's been feeling like dead weight lately!  Read her funny story, here:

 

Can refusing to reveal one’s weight make a helicopter crash?

This question weighed heavily (pun!) on me as I prepared for a recent vacation excursion combining a helicopter trip to Alaska’s Mendenhall Glacier with dog-sledding across its snowy surface.

Excitement became terror when I was advised I would have to disclose my weight to the helicopter owners, factoring in clothing too, so the aircraft would be properly balanced for takeoff and landing. Anyone over 250 pounds had to purchase two seats.

Although I could safely promise one was sufficient, no way was I going to divulge my weight to strangers.

First of all, I don’t even want to know how much I weigh with clothing. So how could I possibly provide an accurate total that also included Alaska summer attire of gloves, winter hat, fleece jacket plus raincoat?

Second, well, second is I’m too vain to tell anyone my weight (and also my age, by the way).

I considered my options. If I lied, would the helicopter crash because of it? Not only might everyone perish, the investigation would later reveal to the world that the tragedy was caused by a woman too shallow to share her weight.

Was I willing to risk death and my reputation for vanity?

After days of soul-searching, I concluded the answer was: YES.

I decided to claim 100 pounds, but realized the helicopter pilot would have to be blind to believe that and no one wants a pilot with vision problems.

And what if he challenged me in front of everyone? I wasn’t going to step on a scale in public when I studiously avoid them in private. I needed a solid defense if he said something like: “Lady, if you weigh 100 pounds, I’ll eat my hat.”

Although I’d enjoy watching that, a clever retort was necessary. I settled on: “I forgot that my gloves and hat probably weigh at least five pounds each and when you figure in two jackets at 25 pounds, that’s probably more accurate.” I practiced saying this in front of the mirror, but even my own eyebrows arched in disbelief.

After weeks of worrying, I was greeted on the cruise ship with a form that merely sought verification that I weighed below 250. I quickly scrawled my signature and breathed a sigh of relief. But that disappeared when I was handed a clipboard at the helicopter pad. On top was a form to declare my weight.

I swallowed hard and wrote a remotely reasonable number, figuring I could claim I forgot to factor in my rain poncho and winter accessories if anyone interrogated me. The company employee eyed me suspiciously, but said nothing. I only hoped a “fudge factor” was routinely added for those who understate their heft or fail to accurately estimate the additional weight of the company-provided waist life preserver and glacier “boots.” When it came to load the copter, the two skinniest people were assigned to the front seat while I and another normal-sized woman were relegated to the back, apparently to offset a man large enough to fill two spaces. At that point, I feared all of us had lied.

To my great relief, the helicopter landed safely. My inaccurate weight calculations had not caused an air disaster after all. But when our group approached the sled, the dogs began barking loudly. I can’t be sure, of course, but I suspect they were looking at me and saying, “There’s another woman lying about her weight. We’re gonna need more dogs to carry the load AGAIN.”

Watch Pat's dog sledding here! (Hmm, I don't hear them complaining, Pat . . . !)

5 New Year's Resolutions to Make Every Year

With every new year comes a clean slate and the opportunity to make your next 365 days as meaningful as possible. What are some of your resolutions? We came up with some ideas for resolutions for this year and every year after.

From our OGTV family to yours, Happy New Year!

Keep reading... Show less

Blind Waiter Serves Up Diner Classics and Life Lessons

** As we wind down to the final days of this difficult year, OGTV is tipping our hat to all of the essential workers on the front lines with this uplifting story about a New Jersey man who has found a way to do this difficult job for years, even without his eyesight! **

The flickering neon sign reflects eerily off the aging, chrome exterior; a long smooth marble counter with spinning stools draws your gaze left and right as you enter; the checkered linoleum floor seeps under the rows of back-to-back leather booths enveloped by the rain streaked wrap-around windows. You may think you've entered a typical American roadside eatery, but your experience here will be anything but ordinary.

You have just stepped into the Bendix Diner, a staple in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey since the 1940's. It's no surprise that The Bendix can serve up a sizzling Burger with deep fried onion rings and a frothy chocolate shake. What is unique about this meal is the waiter who delivers it to your table – his name is John Diakakis, and he is blind.

Keep reading... Show less

How to Reduce Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness - Ask The Doctor (E7)

During these incredibly stressful days, OnlyGood TV is excited to launch a new series - Ask The Doctor - that explores the questions and provides guidance for finding the road to achieving emotional, psychological, and spiritual wellness.

Hosted by Dr. Stacy Berman, each episode will help you navigate through these rough times and find your way to a happier and healthier life. Feeling lonely and isolated during quarantine? In this episode, Stacy reminds us that we are all wired to be part of a social community and offers a simple, self-soothing exercise to fill that connection gap that we are all experiencing.

Keep reading... Show less

Are You A Christmas Trivia Expert? - Not Your Average Joe

Everyone could use a few more smiles in their daily lives…and watching a funny video will often do the trick! OnlyGood TV videos help make your life fun, more manageable, happy and stress free!

Joe Leonardo is an improv actor from New York City. For our new "man on the street" series, Not Your Average Joe, he traveled through Times Square asking New Yorkers trivia questions about Christmas! Check out this hysterical video and see which city pedestrians know their facts and which don't... Keep track of your own answers too! Happy Holidays!

Keep reading... Show less

Chefs Honor Sailors and Their Families With a Holiday Feast to Remember (Random Acts of Cooking E1)

What would be a unique way to honor the service of 400 hungry sailors and their families for the holidays? You contact Chef Plum, have him round up his crew of top flight chefs and grill masters, bring in enough food to feed…well…the Navy, spice it up with a dash of top flight entertainment, and you have all of the ingredients for a memorable evening of food, love, and family!

Keep reading... Show less

Sullivan the Therapy Dog Helps Make A Christmas Movie - Sullivan's Travels

** OGTV is celebrating the first day of winter and the holiday season by inviting you to join a golden retriever named Sullivan on one of his many adventures. **

Do you ever wonder what a day in the life of a therapy dog is like? In the OGTV Original Series "Sullivan's Travels," a golden retriever therapy dog named Sullivan Travolta takes us along with her as she assists folks in all kinds of settings. Having been trained at Project Chance in Jacksonville, Florida, Sullivan provides support and happiness to kids and adults in schools, nursing homes, classes, and any other program where she's needed.

Keep reading... Show less

* OGTV Top Videos *

Watch and Subscribe
It's a Positivity Movement
OnlyGood TV on YouTube

mailbox

Get your Only Good TV Newsletter