How To Make A Lame Party TOTALLY RAD
If we like to live in the moment (and omg when do we NOOOOOTT) then nothing is more disappointing than a lame party. The pre-party preparation is reason enough to absolutely dread a party that ends up not being worth it.
There's the makeup process (very serious):
Then the fail-safe makeup process when the first one turns out like this:
Then there's the egregious perfume/cologne application:
The emotionally traumatizing 45-minutes spent getting dressed:
You're lying, this totally makes my hair look fat.
The last-minute pre-cocktail-party cocktails:
And of course, somebody knocks yours on the ground and you're like:
And once you're done with all THAT, you realize there aren't enough seats in the car for everyone to go in one trip:
But with a little stretching...
FINALLY you're on the road, and you're totally excited for the amazeballz party that will make all this stressful preparation worth it. Right?
Then you get there and it's like:
Uh-oh. LAME PARTY ALERT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT: LAME PART--you get it. Don't worry, here's how to turn this snooze-a-thon into a night you'll never forget:
Lie on top of things that are not intended for such an act:
Make it a RAPTOR PARTY!!
When someone goes to the bathroom, have the men and the women change clothes before he/she comes back:
Pretend the floor is lava:
RELEASE THE HOUNDS (requires hounds):
Put on some more upbeat music and BUST... A... MOVE:
Turn the lights off. Add glow-sticks. Boom:
Wrap five people up in toilet paper, and make them play charades. Anyone who tears the paper has to replace all the toilet paper with duct-tape and can only speak in riddles for the rest of the night. That will teach anyone to think twice, maybe even thrice, before inviting you to another lame party.
Now get out there and party you animal, you.