How To Get Down
As with any kind of act you'll be doing in front of people, the most important thing is how you look. So make sure you...
A) Suit up to swag out.
Perfect. Now that you're decked in some sweet rags, get some more.
B) Stun out with fly shades.
You will most certainly be wearing these indoors and at night.
Okay, you're looking fly. Those shades are tight! Now it's time to...
B) Warm up with some pre-boogy boogies.
Get those hamstrings nice and limber, because you'll probably be krumping, dougie-ing, twerking, square dancing--all that fun stuff.
Splendid. Are you limber? Of course you are, you limber lion, you. Grawr.
Now, if you've got to travel to your boogy-ing destination...
C) Don't walk. Walking is for squares. Trust me, you'd rather get there all...
And when you get to where you're going, walk in like:
Brilliant! You're practically Beyoncé sort of.
Okay, now let's actually dance.
D) Don't be afraid to get the groove going even if no one else is grooving.
Because eventually, at least your best friend/wingman will join you.
Others will start to feel comfortable with the idea of dancing, though you may still be the center of attention:
With your lead, they'll come out of their shells.
And eventually everyone will just be like:
Okay, everyone intends down like a clown watching Charlie Brown til the sun goes down. Good job. You're the man. You're the woman. You're the life of the party.
Which means that when "your JAAAAaaam" comes on, you have to react appropriately.
D) Like this:
Okay, YOUR JAM IS on, which means it's...
E) time to get creative.
Props are fair game.
As are alter egos:
F) It certainly never hurts to do a little of this:
Because when you've done a proper Single Ladies shuffle, you've officially GOTTEN DOWN.
Congratulations. You can now enjoy the rest of the night knowing you have successfully "worked it."
Return home and rest. The party has come to a glorious end.
OR HAS IT?