Embracing Imperfection Beneath The Wig

I wear a wig. There, I said it. I’ve been wanting to say it for a couple of years now, but I was afraid. I still am, but it is what it is. I speak often about fear and how it does nothing but hold you back, and the truth is, this is the last thing that I’ve been holding onto and I’m ready to release fear’s hold on me. My fear isn’t doing anything except making it worse. I’m pretty sure people know I wear one and I’m pretty sure there are those that don’t. Well, of course until now. I used to say it really wasn’t anyone’s business and that’s why I didn’t think it was necessary to have to let everybody know. But the truth is, I wasn’t able to accept it myself and so the thought of anyone else accepting it was not even in the realm of possibility. However, it’s holding me back. It’s holding me back from walking in my authenticity. It’s holding me back from walking in the truth of who I know I am. I am allowing something so ultimately non-important to cast a shadow on something more important - my beauty within.

I know that my hair doesn’t make me the woman I am. I know that I am so much more than that. It’s just been very hard for me to face because I grew up with long, flowing, curly hair. My hair was always something that got noticed, that I was proud of, and probably the exact reason why I started losing it. We all have lessons to learn in this lifetime of what is truly important, and perhaps mine was to get me past the physical. The doctors aren’t sure why my hair is thinning. They have their suspicions, but nobody has ever been able to put a finger on it. It’s “stress,” it’s “genetics,” it’s from my “stomach surgery,” it’s “alopecia,” it’s…I don’t know what it is, but I do know that it just IS. On a side note, I never noticed how much people like to touch faces and hair until I became conscious of how much I don’t want them to touch mine. I think when it’s your own, you never worry about stuff like that, but every time someone’s hand comes close to me, I flinch. It’s the worst feeling ever! Just yesterday at work, someone leaned in innocently to get a piece of lint out of my hair and I think I jumped back 15 feet. I made some silly remark that I thought I was going to get hit or something which is ridiculous in and of itself. Everybody laughed. I just shrunk a little inside. That is not who I am and how I truly feel about myself. My soul knows this and it is now time for my head to catch up.

In all honesty, part of my fear has to do with dating. My ex loved me just as I was. He never made me feel uncomfortable. If anything, he embraced my hair and always just wanted me to love it and accept it more. I kept telling myself it was because he was my best friend first and already knew about it before we got into a relationship. Now that we are no longer together, I can’t imagine another man being okay with it. That fear of meeting someone else that will accept it terrifies me. But that is EXACTLY why I am writing this. I refuse to let my fear win! I refuse to be led by fear any longer and walk around wondering if I will be loved again. Of course I will. My ex recently reminded me of that. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I am human and I am a work in progress. I am constantly evolving and learning, but holding onto this secret for fear of what others think is truly not who I want to be and truly not who I know I am. I worked many years on being able to fulfill my own needs and not needing anyone else to make me feel a certain way about myself and now it’s time to not worry what a potential romantic partner might think of me. You either love me or you don’t. All of me. Even the parts that are “lacking.”

On the upside, the amazing things about wigs are that if I wanted to change colors, styles, or anything to go along with my mood, I can! Since I’ve been “closeted” about it, I’ve been careful about the styles I get. I can’t have bangs one month and then my hair is suddenly one length and all grown out the next. But hell, bring on red tomorrow and blonde next week! So if you see me out and about, or maybe a new photo online with a new look, just know that I’m working on my wig collection and Dolly Parton better watch out!

Shari-ng expand=1] With Shari

So, is there something in your life that is holding you back? Is there something that is tugging on your soul and if you faced it yourself by admitting it, you’d feel so much better? Well, if you can and want to, please feel free to post it above in the comments section. It is scary and AMAZING to just stand here, flaws and all exposed, and be who I know I truly am. A child of God who was created imperfectly perfect.

**I would like to thank my ex-boyfriend, John, who showed me what it was like to be loved unconditionally, and unknowingly gave me the strength to write this today. I feel blessed that I was loved the way he loved me. The gift I take from our relationship is that I now know that I can be loved for me and all my beautiful imperfections. Thank you!

All my Love,


Check out Shari's video: Shari-ng With Shari: Her Big Reveal, and watch her forgo the wig!

This Man Is On A Mission To Keep His Community Healthy

After Jeff Konchalski transformed his own life by changing his diet, he knew that he had to help others experience the type of turnaround that he did—well, for most, it wouldn't be quite as big of a change.

Keep reading... Show less

Tennis Program Helps Underserved Teens Develop Resilience On and Off the Court

Tennis is a popular and fun pastime, in that it requires mental focus and athletic ability. But due to the cost of equipment and court time, lots of kids never get the chance to try their hand at the sport. Leaders of the Junior Tennis Champion Center (JTCC) recognized this cost challenge, and decided to do something to change it. In 2009, JTCC launched a Community Outreach initiative, with the goal of introducing underserved kids in Prince George's County, MD, and Washington, DC to tennis. And the program has become an indisputable success.

Keep reading... Show less

Black Girl Geek Magic - She's Blazing The Trail For All Like Her

Her family's love of good stories, whether they were comics, anime, video games or even the Harry Potter Books, were all a key part of shaping the "geek" in Jamila Rowser's personality while traveling the world as a military brat with her Air Force mother.

That mix of creativity and imagination that often makes it difficult to fit into new situations was the spark for her popular Girl Gone Geek blog, the root from which all of her other creations have sprouted. "I wanted to write about something I was really passionate about, which was geek culture," Jamila shares. "That one is always going to hold a special place in my heart."

Keep reading... Show less

Better Your Day By Walking Your Dog

Everyone could use a few more smiles in their daily lives…and watching a funny video will often do the trick! OnlyGood TV videos help make your life fun, more manageable, happy and stress free!

"Better Your Day with Joe and Jesse" is an OnlyGood TV Original web series that will help you get through your day with tips and tricks to improve everything in your life! In this premiere episode, Joe and Jesse take you through 3 easy steps to walk your four-legged friend in the most efficient way. January is National Walk Your Dog Month so make sure you try out these tips! Happy walking!

Keep reading... Show less

Never Too Old To Love: Music Video About Lovable Senior Dogs

You may be familiar with the challenges that many senior dogs face. They are often overlooked in shelters, as many people prefer to adopt puppies, and yet as they experience age-related changes like diminished senses and strength, they become more dependent on humans. We consider ourselves so fortunate to have friends who are dedicated to helping provide love to senior dogs in need. It was with some of those friends that we produced this music video for an original song called "Never Too Old to Love."

Keep reading... Show less

This Nurse Cares For Patients And Serenades Their Souls

** In honor of National Caregiver's Day, we celebrate all who look out for us, especially during this time when so many have risked so much for the benefit of others. This story highlights a nurse who shares his special gift to create moments of joy for those he cares for. **

Jared Axen can be heard singing throughout the halls of Henry Mayo Newhall Memorial Hospital in Valencia, CA, thus dubbing him "The Singing Nurse." Full-time nurse and part-time musician, Jared has combined both of his talents to become a guiding light for patients and nurses everywhere.

Keep reading... Show less

College Basketball Star Now Making Moves in the Art World

There aren't too many young male artists involved in quilting, but that's been the path for 26-year-old Michael Thorpe. Thorpe is an exciting new artist who is making large-scale quilt portraits using techniques he learned from his Mom, a lifelong quilter.

His works are bright, bold and provocative, and they have grabbed the art world's attention. After popular gallery events, Thorpe's first museum showing will be at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston where they are excited to display his unique and thought provoking artistry.

Keep reading... Show less

Juicing For The Homeless Donates Fresh Fruit Drinks

What is healthier for the body and mind than fresh fruit and vegetables? The Give Project, a California based non-profit, had an inspired idea that they converted into a "feet on the street" action plan that is making a difference for some of the neediest people in Los Angeles.

The GIVE Project started hosting "Juicing For The Homeless" in 2010. They serve fresh, organic juice to over 1000 homeless men, women and children in Downtown Los Angeles. The GIVE project's main goal is to spread the idea of a conscious, healthy, eco-friendly lifestyle that makes you feel energized and strong.

Keep reading... Show less


* OGTV Top Videos *

Watch and Subscribe
It's a Positivity Movement
OnlyGood TV on YouTube


Get your Only Good TV Newsletter