7 Childish Things That Never Get Old

Humor's Office

1. Getting people to laugh by telling them not to laugh.

Maybe it's a secret for some, but we all like to break the rules. Nothing proves this more than the spontaneous command of not being able to smile. Not smiling when you're told not to is about as easy as not pushing a giant, candy-red button that says, "DO NOT TOUCH." The thought of being naughty makes us giddy. Tell someone that laughing is not allowed  and he'll be at war with himself against a trembling urge to giggle and guffaw.

2. Saying "Thank You."

Gratitude is like a set of ripples. No matter how small the stone is when it hits the water, the waves go a long way. We all want to be useful, and we want even more to be thanked, to know that people are glad we are around. When we get the door for someone who can't open it without spilling coffee all over the place, a smiling "thank you," is enough to lighten any mood. Being good to one another makes us feel needed, which fortifies our self-respect, and energizes our desire to help.

3. Getting song lyrics wrong.

Mis-quoting songs is hilarious, and since America's Top 40 artists forgot how to annunciate since rising to fame, who can blame us? Some poetic GOLD has come from hearing the wrong thing. Here are some real gems that I and my friends accidentally created:

"Sugar, We're Goin Down," Fallout Boy

Actual lyrics: "We're going down, down in an earlier round."

New lyrics: "We're goin down, down, doodoodoodoodoo round."

There's something to be said for minimalism.

"Send Me On My Way," Rusted Root

Actual lyrics: Send me on my way, send me on MYY way.

New Lyrics: Simmion the whale. Simmion MYY whale.

It didn't seem odd at the time...?

"I'm Every Woman," Whitney Houston



It seriously needs a comma, but aren't you more excited by the new one? I am! CLIMB, women! CLIIIIMB!

4. Being spontaneous.

I was listening to the radio this morning and Dr. Oz came on--because Dr. Oz is everywhere--and talked about changing routines. "Like a muscle," he said, "our willpower can only stretch so far. Eat the same thing in the morning, and switch it up at dinner." He's talking about diets, obviously, but it's a good impetus to not only accept, but to also welcome change. We're not meant to bore ourselves to death with the same routine, day-in and day-out. Spare your sense of humor and joy by adding a dash of spontaneity to the mix.

5. Discovering that the menu has mac n cheese on it.

You don't have to order it, but there it is! Mac-n-cheese!! If you don't like what you got instead, mac-n-cheese will be the safety net beneath your stunt-y, honorable, albeit misguided choice. It's one of the few dishes that follows us from childhood to adulthood. You can slum it comfortably with the stuff in the box, or you can class it up with some lobster (have you freaking tried lobster mac-n-cheese? Sweet heavens, you'll never be the same).

6. Watching people watch a scary movie.

We already know scary movies are really just vehicles for cuddling. They're also great fun when you put your more jumpy friends in front of Halloween, or Paranormal Activity, it's hilarious. Think about it, have you ever watched a scary movie with a person who has nerves of steel? BOOORRRRINNNNG! You have to let yourself get scared, and freak out with your friends. Those who get terrified together, stay together. Fact.

7. Channeling your inner child.

I'm 24 and I still get giddy as hell when my friends and I go somewhere without parental supervision. Going on vacation is like having a sleepover IN EUROPE, OR SOMETHING. Worried you'll have a boring night out? Wake up the 15-year-old you and remember what it was like to spend Friday night in the back seat of your mom's mini-van while she drove you to the teen social. Would that kid let you have a boring adult-free night? You bet your Lisa Frank binder and matching notebook he/she won't! Stay young, live a little.




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