12 Words That Don't Exist But Should

crappypictures.com

I love words so much that I decided to invent my own, like magic! Seeing as how amazeballs recently made it into the dictionary, I might not be too far off from something legitimate.

Enjoy.

parkanoia [park-uh-noy-uh] (n): when you park a new car miles away from a store entrance to protect it from stray shopping carts and other drivers whose cars are so dented they don't CARE what they bump.

example: My dad's parkanoia made appliance shopping very difficult.

dessertion [dez-er-shun] (n): A brief moment when your life flashes before your eyes due to a freak accident, or disaster, where you regret not eating more dessert.

example: As she watched the last lifeboat descend to the ocean's surface, Meryl was overcome with dessertion and thought, I should have just had the damn brownie.

hailwing [hayl-weeng] (v): When the friend you're visiting in the city tells you stop trying to hail a cab before you get run over, stupid, and pulls you back from the road and protects you like a goose shielding her young beneath a wing.

example: Amy hailwinged John after he unknowingly tried to flag down a speeding felafel truck.

driftminimus [drift-min-ih-muhs](n): when your tires squeak from turning slightly or starting up a little too fast at a stop sign, giving you a minimal amount of time to pretend you're in Tokyo Drift sequel.

example: Because my tires are bald, it gets driftminimus every time I turn on to Main Street.

noodlecide [noo-duhl-syde] (n): When you're boiling pasta and the noodle you want to test gets scared and leaps off the spoon and plummets beneath the burner.

example: A mass noodlecide left Jeremy's kitchen smelling like torched pasta.

gluttenvy [glut-en-vee] (n): The sweeping bitterness you feel when the food you ordered doesn't look as good as another diner's.

example: Gluttenvy looked poor on Gretchen as she eyed the duck bouillabaisse passing on the arm of a disinterested waiter.

greap [grayp] (adj): When something grape flavored actually tastes good.

example: "This grape soda is better than tolerable, it's greap!"

scarflace [skar-flis] (n): A scarf worn purely for decorative purposes.

example: Jacob's scarflace was the source of everyone's envy at the Fourth of July picnic.

tragediva [traj-eh-dee-vuh] (n): someone whose fame is enhanced or exacerbated by committing social faux-pas or actual crimes.

example: Lindsay Lohen.

meangurlenfreude [meen-guhr-lehn-froyd] (n): the philosophy that any conversation held between humans could eventually lead to a Mean Girls reference.

example: If we believe in meangurlenfreude, we should expect at least one fake compliment for every three minutes of polite conversation.

studate [stuh-dayt] (n): A date poorly concealed by the false pretense of "studying."

example: I invited Kelly over for a studate to help me learn the state capitols...

prince [prihntz] (v): To prince; to sweep someone off his or her feet.

example:

"Where did Jenny go?"

"Some guy just walked up, said she was cute and asked if she would honor him by being his date for Valentine's Day. Then he threw his cape around his shoulders and carried her out the door."

"Egads! She's been princed!"

"Yeah, she turned to me on the way out and was all, 'Don't forget to DVR Sister Wives.'"

"Good, I almost forgot. Let's order Thai and watch re-runs of Weeds in the meantime."

"Nice."

 

 

Young Girl Starts Charity to Help Kids By Coloring Outside the Lines

We'd like to introduce you to the cutest business girl, ever. Entrepreneur, designer and artist Bethany Sawyer started The Giving Goose when she was just 5 years old.

The Giving Goose is a clothing line whose products feature Bethany's artwork and allows children to color in and decorate their shirts. In recovery from atypical teratoid rhabdoid tumor (AT/RT), Bethany wanted to do something for other kids with cancer.10% of all proceeds go to benefiting charities fulfilling Bethany's goal to showcase children's drawings while helping others.

Keep reading... Show less
www.youtube.com

Family Hardship Creates LOLA Granola

Like many Americans, Mary and Ernie Molina experienced a time of financial crisis with the down turn of the economy. They lost their family owned retail cell phone store and were forced to rely on the generosity of relatives to cover monthly expenses.

When the family could no longer afford toilet paper, the Molina's knew something had to be done. Finally, Ernie was offered a sales position selling coins for commission only. In an effort to save money, Mary started making her own granola bars for Ernie to take to work as a snack. Occasionally, Ernie would offer one of Mary's granola bars to his coworkers. When the requests from the office began increasing every week, Mary and Ernie knew they were on to something.

Keep reading... Show less

How To Hug A Soldier In 3 Steps - Better Your Day With Joe and Jesse

Everyone could use a few more smiles in their daily lives…and watching a funny video will often do the trick! OnlyGood TV videos help make your life fun, more manageable, happy and stress free!

Would you like to make a soldier smile? In this episode of "Better Your Day", Joe and Jesse take you through the 3 easy steps to give the best hug. The annual Hug A GI Day is March 4th so make sure you try out these tips on your special soldier! Happy hugging!

Keep reading... Show less

Veterinarian is a Modern Day Dr. Dolittle - Dr. Amy Jo's Wild Life (Part 1)

This is the story of a modern day Dr. Doolittle with her own personal wildlife sanctuary, a local veterinarian who's life is dedicated to caring for unusual and extraordinary animals. These animals have become more than her patients or pets, they have become her family!

Keep reading... Show less

Caly Captivates The Crowd Singing At Midfield (Caly on the Good E5)

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to stand in front of thousands of people in a large stadium and sing our national anthem? Get ready because Caly Bevier is going to live out this fantasy right before your eyes!

On this episode of "Caly on the Good", the singer and ovarian cancer survivor shares her feelings about being asked to perform the National Anthem at LA's StubHub Center before the US Women's National Soccer team takes on the National Chilean Soccer team.

Keep reading... Show less
www.youtube.com

This Program Keeps Military Families Close Together Through Reading

** Read Across America Day celebrates the simple joy of reading. Enjoy this story of how a special organization is making it possible for service members to read to their kids even when far from home. **

United Through Reading is a non-profit that offers active duty military service members the opportunity to pre-record themselves reading books to their children at home. The program's mission is to keep the connection between parents and children strong, all while encouraging literacy and making homecomings easier.

Keep reading... Show less
www.youtube.com

Ziggy The Pig Is A One Of A Kind, Unique Pet

"Living with a pig is crazy," says Jay Yontz. Jay and his girlfriend Kristin Hartness are pet-parents to a friendly pig named Ziggy—and there are plenty of crazy things about this little family's story!

Keep reading... Show less

Ashlee Muhammad is Harlem’s Rising “Eye-Conic” Fashion Designer

Ashlee Muhammad was born blind in one eye. She spent much of her youth being bullied for being "different" and yearned to fit in... until she finally realized she was born to stand out.

Keep reading... Show less

* PODCASTS *

* OGTV Top Videos *

Watch and Subscribe
It's a Positivity Movement
OnlyGood TV on YouTube

mailbox

Get your Only Good TV Newsletter